jumbled bells...

it's interesting to me to see how people seem to think a certain time of the year is more important than any other..."christmastime" and all that...people who know me know that i don't put any more stock into one day than another. every day should be special to you and those who you love because, as has become a trite saying, "tomorrow isn't promised to you."

it's also interesting to see how much emphasis people place on things, rather than people. especially those who have kids. "christmas is about the kids". bs...as adults, we should be doing more to get kids to understand that christmas is about family and giving, rather than how much can get stuffed under the tree. but, unfortunately, too much of life is lived with the yardstick of happiness measuring the "whats" and "what kinds" of life, rather than the souls and those touched by those souls...

i'm just as guilty, as i tend to spend the end of the calendar year as time for introspection and planning for the next, but i should do that every day...and i spend too much time determining my success by the size of my bank account and the things i've acquired. i'd like to think i've acquired more friends...not acquaintances...true people who care about me and who i care about as well...but that too might be a benchmark of vanity...

the frozen strawberry conspiracy (reprinted from june, 2006)

it's fathers day and i'm sure everybody and their momma has a nice fathers day blog written, and i've already gotten spammed on messenger with a "happy fathers day" (i'm not a father...at least not that i know of). i don't mean to come off angry or bitter, but father's day just doesn't have any special meaning to me (read my mother's day blog). last nite someone even asked if i was planning on heading to the cemetary to place flowers, to which i replied no, and got a stunned silence. my belief is this: we dropped a body off at the cemetary that used to be my dad, that's all, and i have no reason to go back until it's time to drop another body off (hopefully not mine yet). when i want to remember or honor my dad, i think about him and do the things that he would want me to do, and call it a day. (don't get me wrong, if you want to go to the stone garden and "talk" to a bunch of rotting corpses, be my guest. but i don't have any family in the cemetary, they all moved on).

but i will give kudos to all those who are trying to be good parents, fathers and mothers, cuz i know it aint easy in these crazy times we live in. and i emphasized the word "trying" for a reason...no matter what it is that we do, we all fall short in some way, and need to remember and reflect on this in the hopes that we can do better. i can think of nothing more important to keep this in mind for than parenting, and i say "we" because those of us who aren't biological parents of children still have a moral obligation to help those who do (i often fall short on that, and i need to get my ass in gear)

meanwhile, last week i had an interesting experience that coincidentally brought thoughts of my dad to mind that i thought i'd share with you...perhaps you may enjoy it...(yes, it's another long blog...get over it)

just before taking off for maryland, i managed to crack my windshield pretty severely (i hate construction season in chicago), so this past tuesday i went to have it replaced. after calling around several places, the cheapest one turned out to be near downtown, and literally around the corner from where my father grew up (where i spent my summers and, ironically, a few blocks away from where my mother grew up too, although they didn't meet until they became adults). when i got there with my car and found out it would be about 45 minutes to an hour before it would be ready, i decided to go walking in "the old neighborhood."

man...progress isn't always a good thing...my parents grew up within a half-mile of each other on the near-westside of chicago. my mom lived on taylor street, in the heart of little italy (yeah, she went to skool with some real-life mafiosos), and pops grew up about 4 blocks away on 13th street. both of their childhood homes are now parking lots (literally), which isn't so sad in and of itself, but now the neighborhood has this yuppified look to it, with sushi bars and a starbucks and shit. as i'm walking thru the hood, i was thinking how my dad and grandmother would feel about all the "gentrification" going on, and figured they would hate it as much as i do...

but just when i was about to head back and get my car, i spotted something that brightened my day: the little italian ice shack, looking exactly as it did 30-odd years ago...

for those of you who don't know, italian ice (also called italian lemonade) is like a sno-cone, but much more tart, with bits of lemon peel, and it comes in all different flavors; my old man's favorite was watermelon. meanwhile, it was a hot day (90+ degrees), so i decided to have one, also partially in honor of my dad. he loved sweets and this was one of his favorites

as i dug into my ice, i laughed to myself at how much a sweet-eater my dad was, and how ironic it is that i rarely eat sweets at all. i also thought about our little ritual from when i was a small child, 2 or 3 years old perhaps...pops used to work long hours, often leaving the house before us kids had even awakened and not getting back home until well after our bedtimes. there were many occasions where the only time i saw him was on sunday when we all went to church (lots of times, he went back to work immediately after church, too). sometimes, however, i'd lie in bed waiting to hear the garage door open, then would meet him in my pajamas with the feet (yeah, i had some...wouldn't sleep in anything else, even in the summer. i'd wear them until i wore the feet out, then beg for a new one.), and he'd tell me to be quiet while i sat on his lap and watched tv with him in silence ("children are meant to be seen and not heard", he'd often tell me...maybe that's why i'm so annoyed by loud-mouthed kids today). mom would have a fit if she knew i was out of bed at that hour, so it was our little secret. and to ensure my complicity in the conspiracy, he pulled out his favorite snack: frozen strawberries in the can, and shared it with me (well...not really shared...it was more like, "one for you...three, four, five, six for me...but i didn't care). after the strawberries were gone, or the show we were watching went off (usually some old western or horror movie), he'd give me a kiss and put me back to bed.

those of you who know me a lil bit, know that i have sleep habits more like a vampire than anything, often staying up all nite and finally drifting off to sleep when the sun comes up. i wonder, am i still waiting to hear the sound of my dad pulling into the garage?

teabaggin...republican style...

nothing annoys me more than people who can't think for themselves...and more than annoying, it's a dangerous part of society, those who follow blindly...the streets of every major city in america are rampant with those who need the guidance and approval of others to feel adequate.  hell, these days, even the rural and suburban areas are filled with those who crave acceptance (and those who can't find it like to take violent revenge).

today, i was more amused than annoyed, but i was still troubled nonetheless.  thousands of people across the country decided to protest taxes a la the boston tea party of the revolutionary era...  the obvious humor aside (see urbandictionary.com for the definition of tea bagging), i have to continue to laugh at the fact that conservatives have resorted to merely becoming contrarians now that they are no longer "the establishment".  to them, government has suddenly become evil and taxes have suddenly appeared without representation. 

while those who forget history are doomed to repeat it, what is the fate of those who choose to ignore history?  today, quite a few of those people displayed public outrage, as is their right, but where were they a few years ago or even a few months ago while mr. bush was turning a $100B+ surplus into a $270B+ deficit?  they also protested the intrusion of government into states' jurisdiction but where were they when mr. bush gave the fbi and cia the right to search and seizure without a warrant.  i even saw someone call mr. obama a fascist with no facts to support his views, and wondered where that man was when mr. bush gave authority of law enforcement to snatch people off the street, hold them indefinitely and torture them.

despite my distaste for the near hatred that is espoused by fox news, i force myself to watch them to try to get an understanding of what it is that people who think for themselves have to fear.  i see commentators who use terms like socialism and communism and fascism with little regard for the fact that most of the people who are truly listening to them don't even understand what those words mean.  they only know that those things are evil because, we, as americans have been conditioned to believe that they are evil, and so anyone who is labeled with those terms must be evil too.

to the average fox viewer, minorities are evil because we benefit from welfare because we don't work and collect checks from the government at the expense of the working people.  a month or so ago i had someone tell me that and he was serious.  forget the fact that corporations and the ultra rich have been getting a form of welfare in the reduced taxes they get to pay depsite shipping jobs overseas.  what's sad is that the average fox viewer is probably a middle class working person who is glad to see the extra few bucks that's showing up in his or her paycheck thanks to the recent tax cut, but nobody is protesting that because republicans seem to have forgotten to mention it.

perhaps that's the idea of republican teabagging...dipping the truth into empty minds just long enough for only part of it to remain...

trying to rediscover my voice...

i used to be a prolific blogger, but i can't seem to figure out what to write about.  it's not for lack of topics...we're in the midst of domestic upheaval, international uncertainty and there are a host of moral and ethical issues that have gone from a simmer to boiling over.  perhaps its a matter of where to begin...what topic is the one that should be on the tip of my tongue...my fingertips...

what i keep stumbling over, however, is the fact that all of the ills of the world seem to center around a single idea: i'm better than you.

i'm better than you because i'm christian and you're muslim or hindu or buddhist or some religion other than mine.  i'm better than you because i'm heterosexual and you're homo or bisexual.  i'm better than you because i'm black and you're white or mexican or asian.  i'm better than you because i'm thin and you're fat.  i'm better than you because i'm smart and you're dumb and ignorant.  i'm better than you because i have a car and you ride the bus.

i could go on forever because we as humans seem to be able to exploit any differences between ourselves as proof that we are superior to one another.  the fact is, we all have faults that we were not born with...not skin color, not intelligence, not financial or environmental...faults that we, ourselves, created.  things like lack of integrity, lack of motivation, lack of empathy for others.  these should be the only factors that determine who is better than another, but not in a sense that one is superior, but because that shows how much progress there is to be made. 

we live in a society that promotes the idea that success is something that can be measured by things that are visible...but the things that really matter in life: love, respect, honor...where do you go to see these things?  i've found that these things are evident in the quality of relationships that you carry with you through life.  in that, i'm truly inferior because i haven't always been loving, honest or honorable...but i'm hoping that i can change that for the better...

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hilarity, hypocracy, and the NOP

hilarity, hypocracy, and the NOP

i haven't blogged much in the last couple years because there has simply been too much going on in my life and in the world to keep up.  i'm back on the grind, the world is in a financial tailspin and a dude who is only a degree or two of separation from me is in the white house.  rip van nigga winkle would have a field day.  me, i found my voice again because i'd be remiss to remain silent.

now let me preface my comments by saying that i'm an information junkie.  i read the news all day long on google reader and i google anything i don't know.  i can't stand to not know something.  unfortunately, i'm in the vast minority, and our anti-obama family members (remember, we're all citizens of the same country) don't seem to have the same desire for knowledge (e.g. truth).

i'm not even going to spend any time citing facts and figures in this blog, because what bothers me more than anything has nothing to do with facts...other than the fact that so many of the republican faction have such disdain, nigh hatred, for our president that they don't even seem to listen or hear what he has to say except to say that they oppose it.  it's actually kind of hilarious given the fact that 3 or 6 months ago when so many things were so obviously wrong with our political and economic policies they had nothing to say except that mr. bush and the republican party were doing a wonderful job.  now, less than 3 months into the obama administration i have to laugh when i hear how anti-obama people chirp at how the president has ruined the economy and will cause the country to fall into utter chaos.

i know i'm a dumb obama supporter but it seems to me that the path we are on was cleared by 8 years of an imagined mandate.  but i guess i must be drinking the koolaid.  however, if one more person brings up "welfare" to the poor as the scourge of americanism, i might have to ask that person when the last time they've even seen the benefactor of corporate tax cuts (who love to send manufacturing jobs to china and customer service jobs to india) in their local walmart.  it's so funny to see how stupid people will accept stupidity as truth.

funny thing is, we're being told that if the rich pay less taxes us poor folk will keep our jobs.  last time i checked, the rich folk are still paying less taxes and i'm still only workin 3 days a week with no benefits.  splain that lucy...but no, them there republicans must know what to do because they led us out of poverty when reagan was in office...when crack overran the cities and crime in urban areas spiraled out of control.

again...the rich like to dupe the wanna-be rich into thinking that the poor are their enemies, when in actuality, the rich are looking out for themselves.